I have been wanting to make this year’s revision and I have been putting it off.

I think its like with everything that we put off, we are afraid. I am often afraid that I haven’t given it my all and I judge myself instead of cheering myself to what I have been doing and accomplishing.  I am good at both but being hard on myself is easier, I have more practice on it and I can go crazy here (I am a natural ;)). I am also good lately at motivating myself though which feels refreshing. At times it does not feel natural or even possible, all the things that I tell myself I will do, be, get to but I keep saying it, thinking it, writing it down so I can finally feel it and make it happen.

Yesterday I fell for the Instagram trend of #best9. Not really sure how you are meant to choose I just scrolled back to the end of last year and from the beginning of 2017 I took screenshots of pictures that meant the most to me. I ended up with much more than 9… then I managed to somehow ‘close the deal’ on 9. Feeling bad for not including  people that actually meant just as much as the ones that I did include… (being hard on myself again) but then I took a deep breath… tears filled my eyes and I realized how blessed I am. In a year that feels like not that much has been done, I realized I made quite a few long term dreams come true.

I have been places with people that mean the most. I have re-visited home land with my own family.  I spend an evening with a friend I haven’t seen in years. I have taken care of myself and keep reminding myself to put myself first. I organised a ladies get together that gave me more than I imagined and will soon turn into something much bigger. I have turned my passion into a job that I never dreamed possible. I earned money from doing what I love. I have met people that cheer me to it and inspire me to be me. I have watched children grow (deep breath)… and let one go. All this together is bitter sweet but has made me who I am now.

I always knew that bad times are meant to give us the contrast and appreciate the good times more. So I am super grateful for every day. I have survived ! ;)) I am a warrior and will fight for all that I believe in this year (that may just be the most important goal 🤔).

Looking  at myself as if I stepped outside  of my body, I say, ‘you have made more possible that you realise. You remember when you used to dream of the things you now ‘have’ ? That really is your power. Use it wisely ;)’

…. and to all of you and each of you individually, I hope you are well (as I say it often) and I mean it.

I hope you let yourself cry and laugh whenever you feel like it. I hope that you dream as big and ‘impossible’ as when you were a little girl/little boy. I hope you don’t care what boundaries the world told you to believe in.  I hope that you ask yourself  what it is that you like and want (not what the trend to wanting is now). I hope you love like crazy, dance like there is no-one else in the room, I hope that when you stumble, you remember that it’s just part of the dance and that you enjoy getting up and making yourself proud. I hope that you eat what makes you excited, that you look after yourself and that your style speaks who you are.

I am sooooo grateful for you. I love you and wish you best in New Year, your year.

Gosia

xxx

(at no particular order here’s few of this year’s favourite moments :))